Don't Settle for Your Almost Person

If you have been stuck in the same relationship cycles, meeting the same people in different forms, and praying that God will send you the one, this is for you. 

The idea of “the one,” your soulmate, your ride or die, that belief was baked into us before we even knew what love really was. We watched fairytales where the princess always finds her prince… and they live happily ever after.

Hollywood spoon-fed us dreamy narratives about love with romcoms and feel-good movies. With this, many of us grew up whispering prayers:

"Please let someone love me like that. Please let my person find me."

And I’m here to tell you... They will.

Your love should be epic. Magical. Safe. Expansive. It should feel like a soft landing after years of trying to make broken places feel like home.

With a caveat.

That real love you crave? It can’t find you while you’re still clinging to your almost.

You know who that person is. 

The one with whom you feel safe, who treats you how you better than you've experienced, who almost gets you all of your favorite things, but in this almost space, you have to compromise your values, your desires, and, let’s face it, your worth. Even if on a small level.

They do all the right surface-level things, but underneath you never truly have clarity or peace. There’s always something that isn’t quite right, like it’s a performance piece. And eventually, you find out that the entire dance was just surface level. 

Maybe you have had a string of almost people. 

You were so distracted by this idea of forcing and finding your happily ever after 

that you ignored the signs that told you to look the other way. 

You kept telling yourself that maybe there’s something else underneath the surface, and if you give it more time, it’ll just work. 

You may see qualities in these people showing up that remind you of your patterns, and you seek comfort in the predictability. 

After all this time, you know what compromising feels like. 

It’s safe. 

You know you can handle that kind of rejection, just not one that requires you to open up and live out the dreams that you have always wished for. 

Because living out your dreams requires you to face the gaps in your self-worth and confidence. 

You are so caught up in finding the love you desire that you don’t take a moment to pause and acknowledge that your time, energy, and heart should be earned. 

All three things need to be treated as if they are sacred. 

So, let me give it to you straight:

Just because they are the best you've ever had doesn't mean they are the best you will have if you are still sitting in limbo.

Love should not feel like a chore.

 It should not have to be forced. 

It shouldn’t come as waiting until the person gets it right. 

It should not feel like you have to put in more work than you do love.

I don’t care what your grandparents, parents, or even friends tell you. 

Love, in itself, should not be hard. 

Partnership on the other hand, does require work. 

Does it take effort to coexist with another human, to live, breathe, and exist in the same space? Absolutely. 

Does aligning schedules, goals, and desires require communication and effort? 100% yes. 

Will life challenges force you and your partner to get your hands dirty and test your patience? That is guaranteed. 

But, underneath all of that, love, in itself, does not and should not mean that you are abandoning yourself and your very real values 

Someone has it almost right, but just can’t get it right is not the person you choose to do life with. 

Love is not hard; loving the wrong person is. 

When you are with the right person, and love is a sanctuary, it gives you a safe and soft container to go through life's unpredictability without being belittled, abandoned, or treated poorly because that other person didn’t have the emotional intelligence, sense of self, or stability to navigate the trials that will arise. 

With all of this, I encourage you to take a moment to reflect. 

How have you been entertaining your almost person or people?

How have you consistently compromised to fit and live in a watered-down version of your happily ever after? 

I want you to get real and ask yourself: If I have to sacrifice my very real desires and values, is it really my happily ever after? 

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If you're ready to face your relationship patterns, join the Love Lifestyle. A 14 Day Challenge to explore your blocks, patterns, and insecurities to create a life full of love.